Overcoming my own Apollo Complex

I have been meditating for a few years now and for the first few years I came up against the difficult experience of transforming from the mental sphere to the subtle sphere. This was my own Apollo Complex. Finally, my body and mind has settled down enough that I can recognize the subtleness of what I am attempting to do in meditation – transform the obsessive compulsive nature of the mind into a somewhat tame and gentler beast. Maintaining a relaxed yet alert witnessing awareness took effort with certain meditative and contemplative practices – yoga, metta prayer, vipassana, prayer of the heart, zen and shikantaza. It also took me time to work with the “shadow” as found in Jungian psychology and to begin to unravel some of the transpersonal layers. I then use that wasted energy used in service of the ego to begin to be more directly aware of “the witnessing awareness”. Sometimes, in fact many times, I found myself spontaniously doing voice dialogue (see Hal and Sidra Stone’s work on the self) while aware of the witness in while sitting in meditation.

I am not repeating all of this here in a note to brag but to encourage others to push forward. My own struggle with my own obsessive / compulsive thinking – not particular obsessive thoughts, as per neurosis, but the very stream of thought itself – was an arduous task.

The subtle sphere of the soul, as Christian mystics call it, is the begining of the of the transpersonal realms – the supramental, transegoic and transverbal. In order to reach that space I had to die to the lower sphere of the mental-egoic level. I had to sit with my thoughts and work with them is many cases using voice dialogue and then using the free energy that comes along to feed the subtle body and enhance the supramental, transegoic and transverbal states of consciousness.

Do you recognize the Apollo Complex in yourself? The following books, excellent in “pointing out” instructions, may be helpful:

Transmission of Light – translated by Thomas Cleary
The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep – Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche
The Simple Feeling of Being – Ken Wilber
The Mahamudra – the 9th Kar-ma-pa Wnag-chu’g Dor-je

Guided meditations by a fellow called Adyashanti I find helpful also for understanding how to move past the mental/egoic into the transpersonal realms.

Om Shanti,
Rockne

One Taste

“There is no time in this state, although time passes through it. Clouds float by in the sky, thoughts float by in th mind, waves float by in the ocean, and I am all of that. I am looking at none of it, for there is no center around which perception is organized. It is simply that everything is arising, moment to moment, and I am all of that. I do not see the sky, I am the sky, which sees itself. I do not feel the ocean, I am the ocean which feels itself. I do not hear the birds, I am the birds, which hear themselves. There is nothing outside of me, there is nothing inside of me, because there is no me – there is simply all of this, and it has always been so. Nothing pushes me, nothing pulls me, because there is no me – there is simply all of this, and it has always been so.”

Ken Wilber – One Taste

According to Ken Wilber the witness or pure witnessing awareness, cultivated in the major transformative practices offered up through all the worlds major religious traditions, tends to be of the causal world view. This witness starts out be seeing the world as a transparent, shimmering, vibratory object. With further development the witness itself disappears into everything that is witness, subject and object become One Taste or simple suchness or the nondual state. The growth curve is such: Ego – Soul – Pure Witness – One Taste.

The witness attention and One Taste with practice is eventually noticed continuously during waking, dreaming, and deep sleep stages. Dreaming starts out as lucid and then there is just the witness left staying conscious throughout the dream activity. This is virtical growth. In the deep sleep stage only emptyness remains. Nothing rises and nothing pull the attention. Complete emptyness and suchness is all there is. I am fortunate to be have been introduced to integral transformative practice a couple of years ago. In my case the lucid dremaing state has been revealed along with witness attention for most of a 24 hour period.

In an integral transofrmative practice meditation is the main tool for developing these stages of awareness. I dabbled in and enjoyed the Zen tradition for 25 years. So, when one engages a deeply transformative practice from a religious tradition like Buddhism combines it with shadow work, keeps up the body with say weight lifting or yoga, and engages a Metta practice like “the compassionate witness” from Terry Patton or Loving Kindness by the Buddha – you are going to eventually grow vertically and discover contant witness attention 24 hours a day. Now this might take a while. Mabee 20 years working with powerful methods to remain in a state of witnessing and One Taste during waking, dreaming, and deep sleep stages – but Ken assures us it will come.

I believe him.

desideratum

 

 

All there is is the present moment – This is now.

From San Francisco – Yoga Teacher Mark Stastny

 

Mark Stastny of San Francisco is one of the most proliffic, well versed and naturally talented yoga teachers I have ever met. Both of us immersed in the boom era of yoga – circa 1994 to 2005, and beyond – Mark taught me to put my mind on my breath and to then focus on both breath and body in asanas. His yoga has vipassana like elements and insights generated to the practioner from his sequencing and from doing the postures. I feel a great excitement in being alive and able to deepen my experiences of love, awareness, courage and aliveness that Mark has taught me to explore through yoga. Somethings that are very subtle were being taught. Mark teaches Yoga that adresses steadiness of mind along with concentration emphasis, correct body alignment in a stern yet gentle way, and sticks close to the stark reality of Patanjali’s yoga sutras. If one is in to deepening her samdhi, Mark comes highly reccommended!!

Teacher / Philosopher Ken Wilber

There is an extraordinary mind embodied in Ken Wilber. His AQAL method of looking at human development was my inspiration to look more seriously at meditation, weight training, shadow work and diet. Thanks to Ken for bringing clarity and purpose into my spiritual practices once again. I find I am no expert in understanding everything he talks about, however, what I do understand gives me tremendous hope for my growth. I have his Integral Life Practice kit and find the exercises quite useful. If you get the chance pick up the kit, it will encourage growth and give you new inspiration for your spiritual practices.

Pattabhi Jois’s Ashtanga Yoga

Pattabhi Jois is in his nineties. I met him once in London, England in October, 2001.  He had a tremendous presence and seemed very pleased with his yoga audience and also with his brand of yoga. This impressed upon me the real purpose for practicing yoga. Transformation. I could see that he is a man of conviction. True Ashtanga Yoga as taught by Pattabhi Jois and his authorized teachers is a real gift to the world.  I enjoyed its subtleties when I did practice everyday.

Teacher Rodney Yee

 

Rodney Yee is a great teacher of yoga. I have learned a tremendous amount just by watching him practice yoga on his CD’s recently. He can also organize his routines well and package them in a way that leaves the practitioner of yoga recharged and energized. Superb!!

Teacher Shinzen Young

Shinzen Young / The Science of Enlightenment CD Series

Regarding Shinzen Young and his Science of Enlightenment CD set. I see him and this set of teachings as original, well thought and cutting through spiritual materialism today as you can get.  This brilliant teacher is Shinzen Young. I cannot emphasize enough how important his words and instruction are. Very clear spoken. Shinzen has a very up to date and modern way of looking at a very traditional subject with a well laid out and tangible foundation for all ‘the rest of us’ seeking enlightenment can follow. 

Teacher Noah Levine

I highly recommend listening to Noah Levine on his website. He is an individual who is simply an amazing teacher of meditation and Buddhism. His guided soft belly meditation has brought me back to a ’meditating with the body’  perspective I had lost in my own meditation practice recently.

Noah was addicted to crack cocaine and alcohol in his teen-age years and got involved in major crime sprees to support his addictions. He ended up in jail and discovered a 12 step program there. He stuck with the framework that 12 step gave to him in order to live a life sober and clean. He became one of the 5% or so that make it into the world of total sobriety. He also started meditating at about the same time or shortly after. 

Noah’s father is a well known meditation teacher – Stephan Levine.

Being clean and sober for quite a while Noah found that he really was able to live in a deep and meaningful way benefiting other people along the way. He is a psychologist and meditation leader. His book ‘Dharma Punx’ is very popular and one of my favorite spiritual books. There are free talks and guided meditations on his website. Highly recommended!!!

chopping wood and carrying water